Faith

One Wednesday morning two weeks ago our principal began a discussion with the faculty that turned into a depressing discussion.  The mood stayed with me all day, with me spending the whole day distracted and trying to fight back the emotions that kept bubbling and trying to erupt.  I hated how I couldn't even smile at my students, although they knew something wasn't right.  It just wasn't me.  I'm usually cheerful and goofy and spend the day teasing and joking with my students.  I woke up the next morning and prayed for help to get out of this funk.  When I left home morning I was cheerful, so much so that it caught my attention as to how cheerful I was feeling.  By the time I got to school, I felt so happy that I seriously felt like skipping through the halls!!  By lunch time I felt so at peace that I just couldn't explain it.  It lasted throughout the day and has stuck with me since then.  I couldn't help but feel that my prayers were answered.

I've recently read a book that touched me and might have possibly begun a renewal of my faith.  It's called Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back, by Todd Burpo.  Todd is a minister, but has been forced to reflect and reevaluate his own faith because of his son, Colby's experience.  I have been so touched by Colby's experience that I can't help but feel like I've gained a renewed faith.  Toward the end of the book, the Dad talks about a young lady named Akiane, who by the age of 8 painted a beautiful picture of what she believes Jesus looks like.

 

http://www.artakiane.com/gallery.html

Considering how her mother was atheist, Akaine developed a spiritual awakening that moved her mother to eventually believe in God.  Akaine continues to paint beautiful paintings and also write thought-provoking poetry.  But what moved me about the painting of Jesus was that Colby confirmed that this is what Jesus looks like.  (Noticed that I am referring to him in the present tense and not the past?) Two children who don't know each other, one who before the age of 5 talked about having gone to Heaven, and one who wasn't raised during her early years with the concept of religion, both imagine Jesus looking the same way.

I've always felt that things happen for a reason, and that there is a God.  However, what I've struggled with is the involvement of Man and Man making decisions for others in the name of God.  I have faith in God, but not so much in Man.  If that makes any sense.  Perhaps I'm just thinking too much about the whole thing, perhaps I'm going about this all wrong.  In the meantime, while I try to sort this all out, I'll focus on the here and now, and how I feel now about my faith, God, and Jesus.  I'll live for the moment.

Things weighing my mind....

Here are just a few things that are weighing on my mind....

• the staff cuts that our school board has decided on again...the loss of our middle school counselor...
• the possibility that she will be able to "bump" me and I'll lose my job...
• the 5K on the 9th that I'm not ready for yet...
• the 180 mile bike trek that I'll be doing in June that I'm hoping that I'll be ready for...
• the quarter coming to an end and my class finalizing things at the last minute...
• the cost of heating....$$$
• the master's program that I've been working toward...

Sometimes I just need to vent.  I know that my issues are so small compared to what others have to deal with, but these are my stressors.

What about the book?

I have recently succumbed to the appeal of reading electronic books rather than real books.  I've said for a long time that I could never give up holding a book in my hand, smelling the "new book" smell that I enjoy, and feeling the pleasure of turning the pages and seeing how much of the book I've already read.

What changed my mind?  Hmmm....possibly the books piling up on my night stand, bookshelf, end table and coffee table, and on the floor and in totes in the basement.  I personally didn't have a problem with my growing collection, but it was becoming a little too much for our little house.  I began researching the options out there.  Barns and Noble Nook, Amazon Kindle, and the readers you can purchase at discount stores all seemed appealing.  Finally, a couple of weeks before Christmas, I announced to Hubby that I wanted a Kindle.  I ordered one along with a leather case with a built-in reading light, and instantly fell in love when I received it by the end of that week.

I love how I'm able to keep it in my purse and take it out when I'm waiting at appointments.  I'm getting spoiled by the convenience of being able to download a book no matter where I am, and at what time of the day, or night, it may be.  I also like being able to change which book I'm reading when I'm wanting a change, and not have to deal with lugging more than one book around with me. 

What about the smell of a new book?  I love the smell of its leather case.... How about seeing how much I've read?  There's a bar at the bottom that shows how far along in the book I am, and I can see what page number I'm on too.  Whenever I come across words that are new to me, I just have to put the cursor on the word and I get a definition right a way.   When I come across phrases that are meaningful to me, I can instantly share them with my friends on Facebook. So many pluses about my ereader that I don't want to ever be without one.  As for reading real books???  I still have some, and not all books are available on Kindle, so I haven't given up real books altogether.

Patience and Trust

I tend to go through life with blinders on, hoping that everything will just work itself out.  If I let things get to me, they’ll only get me down and become a distraction.  If I stress, I become frustrated.  If I leave it in His hands and roll with the punches, everything falls into place.  Is it wrong for me to be like this? Everything has always worked out in the past.  God may help those who help themselves, but sometimes I have to leave it completely in his hands and trust that He knows best.  The hardest parts is being patient and letting go.

Rediscovered my blog

Yeah, well a lot has taken place since my last post this past fall.  I started taking graduate classes last spring towards my masters.  Between my classes, correcting and planning for my students, getting a workout in, and just every day life, my blog has slipped away into the hidden crevices of my brain.  I've only recently starting getting back into reading and have been mentally preparing myself to begin writing.  But that's another blog another day.

These are some of my more memorable moments of this year...

• I did the Edgar J. Paradis Tour de la Vallee bike ride this past fall.  While Hubby rode 63 miles, I rode 25.  I was very proud of myself!
• So far I have a 4.0 GPA in the master's program I'm in.
• I've signed up to run a 5K on April 9 and I'm not quite ready yet.
• I'm doing the Trek Across Maine for the American Heart Association, which consists of 180 miles in 3 days!  Yup, I'm crazy!!
• I've resigned to purchase an ereader that I just LOVE!!  I've become spoiled to buying books instantly and downloading them on my Kindle and reading until the wee hours of the night.
• Became a great-aunt to a beautiful baby girl. She was born 7 weeks early, but is such a strong little girl that she was home by the 3rd week.  Tomorrow was suppose to be her due date!

This past year hasn't exactly been too eventful, but has been quite busy with life in general.  We're almost done the 3rd quarter at school, so I'm looking forward to wrapping up the school year, and welcoming spring.  Just wish it would get here!!

Full Freezer and Basement

We're all set for the winter now.  Last Sunday Hubby, my two stepsons, our nephew, and my mother and father-in-law all helped us cut, split, and pile 5 cords of wood.  Today, my very good friends helped us slaughter and clean our 10 turkeys.  What a job that was, almost as bad the the day we cleaned 25 chickens.  The difference is the turkeys were so much larger than the chickens were that we had a hard time to maneuver them in the sink.  They were only 3 1/2 months old and the largest bird was 29 pounds (tom) and the smallest was 15 pounds (hen).  So glad that's done.  Now I'm relaxing after a nice long shower.   I'll check back in tomorrow....

D-day has arrived

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but lots has gone on.  Since my last posting, we had hens, meat birds, turkeys, bunnies, and 3 dogs.  We lost our Bandit (our Husky) this summer to old age.  It was a sad day.  Two weeks ago we decided to find homes for our other two dogs, the hens, and bunnies.  We were able to find them great homes all by the end of the week.  We've slaughtered and cleaned 60 meat birds (chickens) that we raised from little chicks, and tomorrow we're doing the same with our 3 1/2 month old turkeys.

It's pretty self-explanatory as to why we took care of the meat birds and tomorrow the turkeys, for food. But, why find homes for our hens, dogs, and bunnies?  Hubby is allergic to pet dander, and although getting the dogs was his idea, he was the one who was really suffering all this time.  The last straw was two weeks ago when he ran out of his inhalant medication and couldn't get it refilled until the following Monday.  He went so far as to sleep in the car so he could breathe.  It wasn't an easy decision, because I get so attached, sooooo easily, but enough was enough.

As for the meat birds and turkeys...well, it was definitely an experience, one that I'm all set with for a few years.  Seriously considering NOT doing this again for quite a while, basically because we were tied down so much.  Now that Hubby has graduated from college and is now working, we couldn't go anywhere with the kids on any vacation, not with all of those animals.  We have friends who could have helped us out, but we didn't want to burden them all with our animals. We also have 2 horses and 3 cows.  I'm hoping the horses don't get sold, but the cows are definitely arranged already.

As weird as it, and will be after tomorrow, not having the the birds, bunnies, and dogs around, it is liberating knowing that I don't have to worry about getting them more feed or trudging over to give them food and water before heading out to work.

Well, signing off for the night.  Got a big day cleaning turkeys tomorrow.  As one friend stated... gobble! gobble! Ack!!  Although Hubby and I have some great friends who will be helping us, it's still going to be a big job.

Student Teacher

For the past few weeks, I've had a student teacher in my room.  It's an new and interesting experience for me, because just 8 years ago (it doesn't seem that long to me) I was the one doing my student teaching.  I've always known my student teacher...I remember him when he was just a little boy and would come grocery shopping with his mom.  He must have been a couple of years old, because his brother wasn't born yet.  Now, he's 21, 6 feet plus, and married.  This is one one of those opportunities where he's not the only one who's learning, because I'm getting a lot out of this as well.

This week was the first week he's teaching my full load, and I just observe.  I didn't think it would bother me, and it really doesn't, but I'm BORED!!  One can only take so much "observing"!  We're going on vacation this week and we've got two weeks left of him teaching my classes.  Then, it'll be business as usual.

Well, another 30 minutes left and it's vacation time!

New Bike!!

Years ago, at times it seems like eons ago, I purchased a mountain bike at a local discount store and paid less than $100.  There's nothing wrong with that, but the gears never worked right and I was more discouraged about riding my bike than anything else.

Two summers ago, I began riding my bike again.  I was preparing to climb Mount Katahdin and decided that aside from hiking several miles through the potato fields behind my home, riding bike would help get me in shape.  Well, I was mistaken...although I began to enjoy biking, racking in about 12 miles each trip and 20 miles once, I wasn't as prepared as I had hoped.

Although I was biking quite a bit, every other day as a matter of fact, I didn't like how I had so much trouble switching gears to make it up the one hill I had to face.  It got to the point that I just stopped, and last year I didn't ride at all.

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been trying to live a healthier, more active lifestyle. I've been running, doing my workouts and strength training on a regular basis.  It's been showing, and Hubby declared one day that he wanted to reward me with a new road bike.  We've talked in the past about doing a road race to raise money for cancer, but with the mountain bike I had, there was no way I was going to even attempt it.  His bike was better than mine, but it wasn't a road bike.  We went to the nearest bike shop and checked out what they had.  I found a real nice one with neutral colors, nothing flashy...I'm not a flashy kind of gal.  I'll admit, they're kind of pricey, and the most expensive item I've purchased that wasn't a major appliance.

Well, this weekend, we're going to go get our bikes!!  I'm so excited!!!  I'm hoping that I enjoy riding bike so much that I keep it up and can do the road race this fall.  I'll keep you posted on how it all goes...here's a picture of what I'm getting.

Long time no see!!

Hello good folks!!  It's been a long time since I've been on, and I apologize for that.  Life has been busy and I've made some life changes of my own. 

In November I turned 40 and had a wonderful surprise by a friend of mine at work.  My wall was plastered with lots of "over the hill" signs.  It was a great day and ended up being a day I enjoyed rather than one I dreaded.  I decided that week to give myself a special gift, of an active lifestyle.  I bought myself a DVD and set up the basement so I have a little spot of my own to do my workouts.  I got back on the treadmill and we got a exercise bike too.  Now I have a variety to use.  The Saturday after my birthday, a friend who was my age passed away suddenly, leaving behind his wife and four children.  He was he sole provider of the family.  His passing was hard to accept, for my own reasons, and I decided that from this point on I was going to keep myself active and healthy.

Since I've started, I've lost over 10 pounds and signed up for my first 5K ever!

I had never been a runner before, but I became one and have learned to enjoy it.  That's me in the middle wearing pink.  The ladies on either side are my friends from school who decided to do the run with me.  What fun!!

Yes...this is a REAL smile on my face, not a fake one! 

My wonderful hubby (on the left) also ran with me, but not with me.  I told him to run ahead.  I didn't want to hold him back and knew I would.  He did his 3.1 miles in about 22 minutes!!  Hopefully my time will be posted soon so I know what I did, but I'm figuring about 35-40 minutes!  I don't think that's too bad considering it's my first race ever.

Well, I've done enough for now, and I want to get ready to do my run tonight.  I'll try to be better at keeping up with my blog.