She was once motivated, but lost it.....

Three and a half years ago I was motivated to become healthier.  I chronicled part of my journey, and spoke about my losses, too: a friend who died at age 40 and my cousin who never made it to 40.  This was the year I turned 40 and I wanted to do something for myself that was good and healthy.

It began one fall evening when I cleaned up an area in the basement, set up our treadmill, and from there a workout area where I could do my Jillian Michaels' workouts, and run on the treadmill.  It continued on from there.  I got involved in running, and did my first 5K ever that spring.  This was the start of a healthy year-and-a-half.  I was healthy, fit, and happy.  I had clothes that were actually too big for me, and I was running regularly.

One school break I caught pneumonia.  My oldest stepson had it, then my youngest stepson and me.  We were eating lunch waiting for him to be able to get his X-Ray done for his lungs when I began shivering uncontrollably.  I can't remember ever being so sick in my life!  It truly debilitated me to the point that I went a long time without working out.  I was sent for a breathing test and was happy to find out that there was no damage done to my lungs.  The thing is the real issue wasn't my breathing like I thought.  I lost my motivation.  

I've tried periodically to get back to the workouts, but it's just not there.  I've tried just walking, like I've done before, but even though I have the desire to run, I can't get myself to commit to it.  

I've wanted to do a workout in the morning, but lately the morning is when I hurt the most.  At 43, I guess my body has caught up with my age.....or something like that.  I've developed Morton's Neuroma under my right foot, so finding the footwear and treatment to allow me to even walk normal without pain is a challenge.  

No matter how true my pain and discomfort may be, I can't help but feel like they're only excuses, and it frustrates me.  I hate having a spare tire, my once "too big" pants too tight, and not having clothes that fit me well.  At all.  I only have one pair of shorts I can wear, and it's because I just bought them this spring.  Let's just say that I'm not feeling so much like my best, and I know I need to do something about it.  I just wish I knew where to find my motivation again. 

It's almost like reinventing myself, I just don't know how to do it or into what.

Long time no see!!

Hello good folks!!  It's been a long time since I've been on, and I apologize for that.  Life has been busy and I've made some life changes of my own. 

In November I turned 40 and had a wonderful surprise by a friend of mine at work.  My wall was plastered with lots of "over the hill" signs.  It was a great day and ended up being a day I enjoyed rather than one I dreaded.  I decided that week to give myself a special gift, of an active lifestyle.  I bought myself a DVD and set up the basement so I have a little spot of my own to do my workouts.  I got back on the treadmill and we got a exercise bike too.  Now I have a variety to use.  The Saturday after my birthday, a friend who was my age passed away suddenly, leaving behind his wife and four children.  He was he sole provider of the family.  His passing was hard to accept, for my own reasons, and I decided that from this point on I was going to keep myself active and healthy.

Since I've started, I've lost over 10 pounds and signed up for my first 5K ever!

I had never been a runner before, but I became one and have learned to enjoy it.  That's me in the middle wearing pink.  The ladies on either side are my friends from school who decided to do the run with me.  What fun!!

Yes...this is a REAL smile on my face, not a fake one! 

My wonderful hubby (on the left) also ran with me, but not with me.  I told him to run ahead.  I didn't want to hold him back and knew I would.  He did his 3.1 miles in about 22 minutes!!  Hopefully my time will be posted soon so I know what I did, but I'm figuring about 35-40 minutes!  I don't think that's too bad considering it's my first race ever.

Well, I've done enough for now, and I want to get ready to do my run tonight.  I'll try to be better at keeping up with my blog.

When Did I get Here?

Did you ever stop at some point and ask yourself, "When did I get here?" The first time I experienced this was in the early 90's when my washing machine broke down and I had to use the laundry mat. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with using a laundry mat, in fact, it's quicker if you consider that you can do several loads at the same time, that is if it's not too busy. It's the inconvenience of not having it in your home that gets to me. Anyhow, here I am in my early twenties and excited about a household appliance, when not too long before I was excited about more personal, superficial items such as, clothing, jewelry, shoes, etc. I actually commented about how I couldn't believe that I was so excited about getting a washing machine. Go figure.

Slowly we get older, our expectations for happiness changes, and our priorities shift and what used to bring us happiness pales in comparison to what accomplishes that goal now. Taking care of ourselves changes too. Before I was just concerned about eating my three square meals, and snacks of course, but eventually I became more aware of what I was eating and how much I was moving around. Body consciousness came later for me. I only became concerned about my weight when I began gaining it. But we also have other issues to be concerned about, internal plumbing and such, if you know what I mean. At some point, what I ate became more of a concern for me the older I got.

Now today in class, my students were pulling out their snacks for our break time, and I pulled out what appeared to be a toaster pastry. It had chocolate frosting and chocolate cream inside, and boy did that grab their attention. They wanted to trade with me, but I kept turning them down. What they didn't know was that it was one of those fiber pastries. I'm trying to eat healthier snacks, so I choose something that will benefit me later on while I'm satisfying my chocolate fix now (ahem!). While talking with a colleague later on about it, we both began to laugh. That's when it occurred to me, "When did I get here?" I know I'm in my last months of my 30's, but when did I become my mother? (sorry mom)