Saturday, August 17, 2013

Starting over....

This is me, two years ago, at my healthiest.  I don't look completely toned or ripped even, but I had no qualms wearing that top and shorts at the last 5K I participated in at our local college, my alma-matter.  There's a hint of muscle on my arms, and my tummy was something I wasn't ashamed of.  My face looked slimmer than it does now, and although my legs still seem like there's some rippling of fat, they didn't touch like they do now.  I felt good.  I was happy with myself and comfortable.

On October 3rd, 2011, almost two months after this race, I was participating in a walk to raise money for Alzheimer's.  The next day I starting coughing and within 24 hours, learned I had pneumonia.  I was sick for 3 weeks and was still feeling the after effects all the way to that February.  Although a breathing test and XRay declared that I was back to normal, the damage was done.  My mojo, my motivation, my energy was gone.

I would occasionally go for walks, but that would last about a week.  It was so much easier to just sit on the couch or chair and flip through Facebook and Twitter, lamenting on how I was getting fat and sluggish.  It was easier to get snacks and meals that were processed and not very healthy, than it was to prepare my own meals and buy fresher foods.  My clothes stopped fitting me.  Pants that used to hang on me were now tight.  I didn't get depressed, but I wasn't happy with myself either.

Up until this past week life was busy for me for the past 2 years.  I was finishing my masters, I prepared 2 new classrooms and planned 2 new curriculums.  I taught summer school for some extra pay to help make up for what I lost leaving my old district.

This week I spent this past week staying home.  I didn't even go to my classroom once!  I was busy with family things instead.  Life seems to be slowing down.  Not that having a busy life is a good excuse, or should be one at all but I feel that I can now have a handle on my time, my life.

I went through some old running magazines that I hadn't read, and as I hoped, I started to get motivated.  I read the articles of the experiences other runners had.  Those coming back from injuries or illness, and still getting back on track.  What was my excuse?  I had none.

I read the tips on preventing injuries, staying motivated, and nutrition.  I took snapshots with my phone of my favorite articles so I can refer back to it when I'm having second thoughts.  I'm trying to set myself up to succeed, rather than fail.

My runs vary.  There were some that lasted 15 minutes, some 25.  My runs include some walking breaks of no more than 30-40 seconds, but I have to be patient with myself.

Most of my runs have been on the treadmill, but that's because I feel self conscious and don't want to look silly running in my compression shorts or capris so everyone can see how much I've gained.  I can hide in the basement instead.

I think about how soon it will be dark after supper and running on our road won't be a good idea.  It will be dark soon right after school before long, so I should just enjoy running outside while I can.  But I can't bring myself to do it.  I know.  These are just more excuses.

Mini goals.  I've done a streak so far of 5 days. I mostly ran, but there was one day I just walked because it was late in the evening and I wanted to get it in.  Still....5 DAYS!  I have to celebrate my little triumphs.