Faith

One Wednesday morning two weeks ago our principal began a discussion with the faculty that turned into a depressing discussion.  The mood stayed with me all day, with me spending the whole day distracted and trying to fight back the emotions that kept bubbling and trying to erupt.  I hated how I couldn't even smile at my students, although they knew something wasn't right.  It just wasn't me.  I'm usually cheerful and goofy and spend the day teasing and joking with my students.  I woke up the next morning and prayed for help to get out of this funk.  When I left home morning I was cheerful, so much so that it caught my attention as to how cheerful I was feeling.  By the time I got to school, I felt so happy that I seriously felt like skipping through the halls!!  By lunch time I felt so at peace that I just couldn't explain it.  It lasted throughout the day and has stuck with me since then.  I couldn't help but feel that my prayers were answered.

I've recently read a book that touched me and might have possibly begun a renewal of my faith.  It's called Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back, by Todd Burpo.  Todd is a minister, but has been forced to reflect and reevaluate his own faith because of his son, Colby's experience.  I have been so touched by Colby's experience that I can't help but feel like I've gained a renewed faith.  Toward the end of the book, the Dad talks about a young lady named Akiane, who by the age of 8 painted a beautiful picture of what she believes Jesus looks like.

 

http://www.artakiane.com/gallery.html

Considering how her mother was atheist, Akaine developed a spiritual awakening that moved her mother to eventually believe in God.  Akaine continues to paint beautiful paintings and also write thought-provoking poetry.  But what moved me about the painting of Jesus was that Colby confirmed that this is what Jesus looks like.  (Noticed that I am referring to him in the present tense and not the past?) Two children who don't know each other, one who before the age of 5 talked about having gone to Heaven, and one who wasn't raised during her early years with the concept of religion, both imagine Jesus looking the same way.

I've always felt that things happen for a reason, and that there is a God.  However, what I've struggled with is the involvement of Man and Man making decisions for others in the name of God.  I have faith in God, but not so much in Man.  If that makes any sense.  Perhaps I'm just thinking too much about the whole thing, perhaps I'm going about this all wrong.  In the meantime, while I try to sort this all out, I'll focus on the here and now, and how I feel now about my faith, God, and Jesus.  I'll live for the moment.