There's a First Time for Everything.

They say there’s a first time for everything, but I’ve been very fortunate so far in life. I know I should probably knock on wood here, but I have never broken any bones (or have I?), required surgery, or been stung by any bees, hornets, or wasps. However, my youngest stepson, Kerry, has had a couple of these experiences. He’s broken his leg sliding off a snow bank, and then chipped a bone in his wrist. He’s been stung by a bee on his ear, which had been hiding in the engine of a farm tractor we used to have, and in the leg by three hornets that were buried in the ground. In spite of all of that, he's a tough cookie, or perhaps it's part of what made him tough.

Even my sister, Gina, has had her share of bad luck. She broke her collarbone falling off the second step from the bottom at our house, and then broke her arm when she tripped on a motel rug while on vacation. She’s even had severe food poisoning. I have been truly fortunate; however, that changed slightly recently.

This past summer, Hubby was opening up our popup camper while I was standing just outside of it. It had been sitting on the back lawn, unopened and undisturbed for most of the summer. As Hubby was nearly finished cranking the camper up, I notice something come towards me; my face! I swatted at it furiously. All at once, I felt a sharp pain, like a needle stabbing my upper lip. I screamed and started freaking out, smacking my face where I felt the most pain. My husband just stood there with the crank in his hand wondering what the heck was going on. “I just got stung!” I screamed.

Angry, partially because I’m in pain, insulted because Hubby was laughing at my antics, which I’m sure was funny to watch, and worried because I’ve never been stung before, so I didn’t know how I’d react, I ran frantically into the house. I grabbed the Epi Pen we have in the cupboard, just in case, and then grabbed the ice pack in the freezer because it started to swell. Hubby came in, “You need to put mud on it,” he declares calmly.

Remembering how it helped subside the pain for Kerry the times he got stung, I head for the only place where there’s exposed dirt, our garden. I began to take the muddy soil and place it on my lip, all the while remembering how we had put cow manure in the garden the year before. Yuck! Cow poop on my mouth! Gross!! As I'm dealing with the idea of having manure on my lip, I began to realize how the pain seems to be subsiding. Hmmm, I guess there’s something here. Then my wonderful husband walks up to see me and starts to laugh. My upper lip has swollen to twice its size. The boys come to see and also recognize the humor in my new appearance. How wonderful it is to be laughed at, I so appreciate it.

On to my next adventures....

We heat our home with wood during the winter. I just love the heat that we get from the wood, especially when we’ve had our subzero temperatures this past winter. It feels so cozy. I also get a satisfaction knowing that we've worked to provide for ourselves to stay warm. There’s something about being self-sufficient that makes you feel good. Well, last winter, my husband taught me how to use a hatchet to split some small, dry logs for starter wood. I had done some pieces earlier and my confidence began to build. I tried to continue being cautious, but my confidence grew, and I began to get a little cocky, because I knew what I was doing. Let's see about that!

One evening, Hubby was in the kitchen upstairs and I decided to go split some wood, the woman who is also able to provide. Ahem. Well, I started splitting some small pieces, making sure that I moved my left hand as the hatchet came down on the top of the log. Crack! There’s one piece. Again. Crack! Another one chopped. I kept going and going, feeling very confident in my abilities now. I did a few more small logs, which kept on for about ten to fifteen minutes. Crack! Crack! Crack! Suddenly, Crack! Aaahhh! D**n! Hubby comes running down the stairs, knowing full well what just probably happened. I had not taken my hand out of the way in time and had sliced my left thumb. Fortunately, the hatchet wasn’t as sharp as it could have been; I could have really done some damage. Instead, I sliced a nice chunk off the side of my thumb. Not enough to require emergency services (thankfully!), but enough that I left the hatchet exactly where it fell and never touched it again. Splitting small logs is now the sole task of my husband; that is understood. Some things are just not meant for me to tackle.

I still continue to exercise my ability to warm our home. Usually, I wear good slippers to go down to the basement to throw some wood in the furnace, something solid. However, this past Monday, I had a pair of crochet slippers on instead. I did think twice about it, but was too lazy to walk across the living room and put the better slippers on instead. I grabbed a couple of small logs and managed to accidentally knock one off the pile. It didn’t look very big as it headed right for my foot. What amazes me most is how I just stood there and watched this piece of wood fall, aimed for my foot and land squarely on my big toe. I hadn’t done anything to stop it from happening! I just stood there and watched it fall and land on its target.

The pain!!! I was grateful I was alone in the basement, because let’s just say, I remembered all the bad words I learned as a kid, French and English, and then some. I think I broke my toe, although it doesn’t appear broken. There’s no swelling or bruising, just pain, lots of pain. I guess I’ll have to wear my husband’s steel-toe boots whenever I go to put wood in the furnace.

What lessons have I learned from my experiences?

1) Do not stand in front of a popup camper that has been sitting idle for part of the summer. I’ll end up being the first target any bee, hornet, or wasp will see. It just takes one to create a lot of pain.

2) Leave all chopping or splitting of wood to the expert, my husband. He’s stronger and more experienced in such matters.

3) Wear appropriate shoes when working with wood. Who needs broken toes?

4) Last but not least, don’t get too cocky about my luck. Things can happen in a blink of an eye.