Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been a dreaded day of the year for me.  I've never had children of my own.  I did have a miscarriage long ago early in my pregnancy, but being young and naive, I didn't go to the doctor and that probably prevented me from conceiving ever again. That was nearly 30 years ago.

As many of you already know, I'm a stepmom.  I've been one for 9 years now, but have been a full-time part of their lives for the past 13.  I've been through diaper changes, potty training, birthdays, first days of school, boo-boos, cheered at games, even when I knew nothing about the game, and went to all of the school events.  I got up every 20 minutes to put ice on my oldest's cheeks for 15 minutes after he got all four of his wisdom teeth removed.  I had my share of bringing them to doctor appointments, and spent most of our school breaks together.  I gave them love, support, and discipline when necessary.  I helped with homework, and chauffeured them wherever they needed to go.  I NEVER considered the time I spent with them as babysitting.

I never tried to replace their mom, rather I helped pick out cards and gifts for her birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, and Mother's Day.  I helped them create handmade gifts for her that would be meaningful, and always enforced the fact that I was not trying to replace Mom.

I'm usually a humble person, rarely calling any attention to myself, or asking for anything.   I'm like that for just about anything.  However, my husband has been very good at acknowledging what I do for him and the boys.  He's taken me out for Mother's Day meals, and had the boys give me cards thanking me for what I do.  I feel that the love I have for my stepsons are no different than a mom who adopted her children.  I may not have carried or given birth to them, but I love them as if they were my very own.

But no matter what, it's still a day I dread and wish I could avoid.  I've always tried to push back any jealous feelings that may creep up during these times.  

I always end up with a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart when I know Mother's Day is coming.  But I still have my mom and mother-in-law who I love very much, and want to make sure they are recognized and appreciated.  So for them I stay strong, swallow that lump in my throat, and keep moving forward.

So for all the moms, stepmoms, mother-in-laws, grandmothers, aunts-as-moms, dads-as-moms, mentors, and everyone in between, I hope you all have a special day and are appreciated for what you do for your children.